Bocas sucks

8 Things You Can Do To Make Bocas Del Toro Not Suck 1

So…I thought I’d provide my readers, list-lovers, sarcasm worshipers, and anyone else looking for a good time whose name isn’t already written in a bathroom stall in some dirty interstate truck-stop, with an Ocho list of things you can do to make Bocas del Toro not suck. Failure to do any of these 8 things will probably result in you coming back from Bocas saying “Dude, Bocas del Toro, man, it totally sucks, bro”. #TrueStory

8. Fly to Bocas (Isla Colon) and Back

We took the bus from David, then a bumpy water taxi ride to Isla Colon. The bus was nice to see some sights, and of course play some great bus games but aside from that, it’s kind of annoying. #IHATETheBus

7. Bring “Cool-weather” clothes

Being a stupid gringo is really hard work sometimes. We packed only shorts and t-shirts. So when it’s rainy and damp and cold and hurty on one of the Islas, don’t be an “I told you so” statistic, pack a long-sleeve or some ever-so-handy Shants. #ShantsRule

Bocas sucks
cool weather hammocks

6. Rent a 4-wheeler (quad)

I can’t believe we had never done this before. It was a blast. Until we got a flat tire. On the complete opposite end of the island at Bocas del Drago. And we had no signal on our phone…but that didn’t matter…because there was no number on our quad to call them to send someone to come fix it! So we rode back doing 20 km’s an hour. Side note, if you’re thinking of renting a quad on Isla Colon in Bocas, go with Flying Pirates, not the other guys…I have no affiliation with them at all, but based on my experience with the competition, well, let’s just say I’d gladly befriend a scientist named Doc Brown who slips while hanging a picture in his bathroom and bangs his head on his toilet and when he awakes he invents a time machine, just so I could go back in time and rent a quad with Flying Pirates. #GreatAnecdote

5. Happy Hour!

On the main drag, someone’s having 2-for-1 drinks at some point. Otherwise, drinking here would cost $#!T-load of Robert Dinero’s. #FreeDrinks


2 for 1 drinks? I'll take 2. Or does that mean I get 4? Better bring 8.
2 for 1 drinks? I’ll take 2. Or does that mean I get 4? Better bring 6.

4. Having a Plan

If you’ve been there before, you can probably wing it. If you’ve never been, have a few things on your Bocas Bucket List. Rain can wipe out a planned day of snorkelling, so have a plan B ready. #ILoveitWhenAplanComesTogether

3. Enjoy at Least Three Days There

We did about a day and half, and while that was long enough for us, there really is plenty more to do there, such as; surfing, boogieboarding, quading, snorkelling, diving, chillin at the beach, kayaking, island-hopping, cycling, drinking during happy hour on the main drag (see #5) and of course…eating. #TakeYourTime

2. Rent a Bicycle

If you don’t rent a quad for your stay, you can easily rent a bicycle to boot back and forth to town if you’re staying just outside town like we did. I don’t think I’d venture over to the other side (Bocas del Drago) on a bicycle, though. Lots of hills and people on quads with flat tires. #CircularReference

Bikes in Bocas
Cheli got a soaker because she turned her back on the ocean…not because I didn’t tell her a wave was coming


1. Bring an Umbrella

Again, being stupid gringos isn’t easy. Sometimes it takes some serious effortness to be a stupid gringo. We’re used to the dry-season of Pedasi in late January. Why would we ever think of bringing an umbrella or raincoat to the other side of the country??? Because we’re stupid. #EndofStory

Well, Bocas del Toro can’t control the weather. We had nothing but rain our two days there, save about 3+ hours we were on our four-wheeler (including flat tire). I can’t say Bocas sucks, I can see why people like going there.


Later Dudes!



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