We arrived for our first day in Panama as new people. That’s not a label, like when Arsenio Hall used to say “These people over here…these people over here are new people…give it up, for the new people”! It’s nothing like that at all (if that’s where your thought process was taking you)…I digress…
We’re new people in that we’ve left a life behind. We need to learn again. We need to observe again. We need to discover things again. We need to make new friends (and no, our old friends didn’t suck – if that’s where your thought process was taking you).
We arrived in Panama on Tuesday. Our flight from Toronto to Miami was delayed a half hour due to Toronto being, well, Toronto. Can’t think of any flight I’ve ever taken from YYZ that’s left on time. I’m not an avid flyer, but I think flying a few times a year over the past 10 years qualifies me as an expert that could testify in court on one of those television drama’s where they bring in a field expert for his expert advice, only to have the prosecutor point out that the so-called expert wasn’t a legitimate expert after all…oops…digressed again…
Okay, so we land in Miami about an hour before our next flight to Panama. We grabbed our luggage at Gate D and ran to the furthest point possible at MIA – Gate J. We got checked in just in time. But what’s this? Our luggage “weighed too much”! We checked four bags – two small ones, two larger ones. The large ones weighed a few pounds too much, but the smaller ones were WAY under the allowed weight. Okay, digress alert…I weigh about a buck sixty. That’s 160 lbs for those who can’t visualize text as numbers. My wife weighs even less. My luggage weighed in at about 29 kg, or roughly 60lbs. That puts my total weight at 220 lbs on the plane (not including my light luggage). Plus, I ALWAYS take a leak before take-off, so there’s another pound of…errr…flesh. So why the hell do I have to pay MORE for a few extra pounds of luggage, when there’s some guy tipping the scales at 250+ and he doesn’t have to pay ANYTHING extra? It’s total bullshit in my humble opinion. Rant over.
We arrived in Panama, went through customs then grabbed our three pieces of luggage. If you’re thinking, “Wait a second, Al, didn’t you say earlier that you checked four pieces of luggage?”, then you would be correct, gold star for your math skills!
Here’s where the awesomeness sets in. We go to the Copa Airlines rep to discuss our lost suitcase. He says our one piece of luggage got left in Miami. Odd, it was the smallest piece of luggage too. Shit, I could have carried it on if I knew they were going to leave it behind. There was more than enough room in the overhead compartments too! And how do three suitcases make it, but the fourth doesn’t? I guess one of my four suitcases got “Sofie’s Choiced”, poor guy – probably felt a lot like Wall-E being left behind like that. Anyway, so then, Mr Copa dude says we have to call to see if/when our suitcase arrives, and we have to come back and pick it up (our expense). Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?!?!.
As arguing was going to be useless, and wasn’t going to produce our lost piece of luggage, we left the airport. I was pretty pissy. Probably hungry. Probably annoyed. Tired. Stinky. Sweaty. Digressy (not a real word).
We went back to the Panama City airport on Wednesday, and lo and behold, they sent our luggage to someone else. Sigh. So now – out $30 from the taxi to the airport, Copa still needs to retrieve our luggage then send it out to us in Pedasi.
All right, I’ve digressed enough…My first test at being a new person; not sure I’d get a passing grade for my first day in Panama. But I did use my first Spanish swear word :).