Cameron Frye in Bed

Got a Man Cold in Panama?


So…you know what a man cold is, right? If you don’t, you should probably YouTube it. Easier yet, here’s a link. And if you’re too lazy to click a link or don’t want to waste your data and/or your precious Panamanian bandwidth, a man cold is a very,very,very horrible cold…caught only by men…all over the world. It lays us up. We can’t do a thing. NOTHING! We are utterly useless for at least 36 hours – Minimum. A man cold in Panama is like, 100x worse. Honest.

Man colds are treated with the following remedies: chicken soup, grilled cheese sandwiches, juices, a couch with blanket and comfortable pillow, continuous attention and doting, and any of the following movies:

  • Star Wars (Sith, A New Hope or Empire, all others are pretty much $#!T – don’t even try arguing with me, I’ll shut you down like Dikembe Motumbo).

DikembeMotumboFingerWag

  • The Shawshank Redemption
  • Dumb and Dumber , Kingpin, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, American Pie, Old School or any other comedy that involves or contains:
    a) farts
    b) getting drunk
    c) nudity
    d) All of the above
  • Any mob movie starring either Di Nero, Liotta, Pacino, or Depp – Goodfellas, Casino, Donnie Brasco, Godfather (1 or 2 only, admitting to liking #3 and you lose your Man Card).

As you can see, man colds need to be taken quite seriously. Now, for all those men out there who have experienced a man cold, a man cold in Panama (Pana-man cold) is at least twice as bad. It lays you up for days. DAYS I tell ya!

Back in December I was laid up for a little over two days straight, about 60 hours. I couldn’t do a thing – believe me, I tried. I mustered up some energy to go to the beach twice – both times for only about 30-45 minutes and not in the sun…I know, life is VERY tough here. But both times I came home and was completely wiped. I could barely move. The heat zaps a lot of energy out of you, throw in a man-cold and there you have it, recipe for uselessness…Pana-man cold!

See...Utterly useless!

See…Utterly useless!

We’ve been here for just over four months and have just been through my second man cold in Panama. Whisky Tango Foxtrot? Back in Canada, I was usually good for one a year, like most people.  I’ll admit, I haven’t been eating nearly as healthy as I did back in Canada, and I have been working out even less. After this latest Pana-man cold, well, it’s time for some, as David Bowie puts it…Cha-Cha-Cha-Changes!

Later Dudes!

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