Twas the night before Christmas in Panama, when all through the land,
Many creatures were stirring, like giant crocodiles and turtles in sand;
No stockings were hung by a chimney with care,
Because, seriously? Panama? There’s no chimneys there;
The expats were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of beaches danced in their heads;
And Mama with her Sangria, and I with my beer,
Had just numbed our brains, for another day here;
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
Louder so, than chicken and rooster chatter;
Away to the window I slowly did go,
Because moving too fast makes you un-tranquillo;
And what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But Expat Santa, with a box of Clos wine and some Panama Beer!
I waved him on over and woke up my wife,
As he cracked open some beers and said “this is the life”.
Dazed and confused, my wife stood at my side,
Her eyes half-shut, not open wide;
She asked ‘what was the matter, why all the noise?’,
I said ‘come on over and have a drink with the boys!’
My wife looked out the window, then back at me,
With a furrowed brow, like I was crazy;
Out through the window we both stood to stare,
But lo and behold, there was nobody there;
‘He was just here’ I said, but to no avail.
My wife just laughed and said ‘hashtag FAIL‘!
So back to bed I went, wondering what I just saw,
But on my nightstand sat a can of Panama;
I smiled at the site of the near empty can,
And thought to myself, ‘$#!T, how many did I have, man’!
I lay my head down on my comfy pillow,
While in the distance I heard a faint ‘Ho ho ho’;
And off Expat Santa went, bellowing into the night,
‘Happy Christmas in Panama to all, and to all a good night’.
Merry Christmas in Panama Dudes!