So…we’ve had a couple of episodes where, sometimes, things get Lost in Translation. This latest incident wasn’t really a translation thing, per se, but more of a…misunderstanding of dialect (I think). Unless it’s normal for neighborhood kids to want to eat your toilet?
Okay, so to elaborate, my wife and I moved into town almost a month ago, and we live across from the soccer/baseball field. That’s soccer and baseball field, not a field for the immensely popular and amazingly fun sport of soccer-baseball. Seriously, why isn’t soccer-baseball a pro sport? Anyway, every Sunday they play music and watch the soccer games. Music ranges from loud to…WHAT’D YA SAY?
But that’s not the point. At some time during the footy games, a young woman comes to the door with a young child in her arms, maybe three or four years old. I was in the kitchen playing on the internet, but she said to my wife “Inodoros”? At least that’s what we thought she said. For those who are like me and aren’t fully fluent yet, an inodoro is a toilet in Spanish. Our first reaction was, “that’s odd, asking a stranger Gringo to use their toilet”.
And now for a little back-story. Many years ago while we were living in Ontario, Canada, a young girl came to the door selling chocolate bars. We bought one, because when little kids come to the door selling things you should buy them (what they’re selling, not the kid)…Anyway, the little girl asked to use our washroom/bathroom/loo/toilet/inodoro…long story short, she dropped a pretty rank deuce in our toilet and made a mess of the sink area thereafter. So we said “never again”.
Fast forward to present time. A little while after the young lady came to the door, a young dude, maybe 15, came to the door and said to my wife “Inodoros? Inodoros?”, then made an eating motion with his hand to his mouth…Wait, What? You want to eat my toilet? Are you like, that guy Borat or something? And a little while later, another young boy came and asked the same thing, but without the “I want to eat your toilet” hand gesture. We shook our heads and said “no”, because ya know, I was saving my toilet for later, in case I get hungry and am really desperate for a snack.
This happened a few more times so the next day when we saw our neighbor we asked her why kids were asking for inodoros. She laughed (at the stupid gringos) and explained that before we lived here there was someone that made a tasty and refreshing frozen fruit/juice concoction in a plastic bag called “duros”.
And once again we made this face…
We now understand the kids are asking “venden duros”? You may be thinking “what kind of morons are you guys that you couldn’t differentiate ‘venden duros’ from ‘inodoro'”? Well, we live in an area of the country that, for Americans, the dialect probably compares to Cajuns, and for Canadians, it probably compares to Newfies. Meaning at times, we haven’t a clue WTF they’re saying and neither do many others! In this area of the country, A LOT of letters get dropped, so “venden duros” really does sound like ‘inodoro’. Really. It does. Honestly. I couldn’t make this $#!T up if I tried.
So, happy that people weren’t trying to use and/or eat our toilet (and as polite Canadians), we simply say “Lo siento, no duros aqui ahora” (Sorry, no duros here now). I guess it sure beats saying “Lo siento, no se puede comer mi inodoro ”(Sorry, you can’t eat my toilet).