8 Ways to Fix the Panama Canal Leak 6

Well…even though we’re two countries away, we like to keep in touch with friends in Panama; moreover, we like to stay in tune with Panama’s news and happenings. And as many of us have seen, said news includes the…news…that there’s a bit of a small, tiny leak in the new Panama Canal.

But let’s not dwell on the problem, let’s find answers and provide solutions to the problem, shall we?

So, here are my amazing and thoroughly reliable engineering solutions on how to fix the Panama Canal leak:

#8. Duct Tape

Serious amounts of duct tape. Like, more than Red Green could possibly imagine using. They could an even find colors that match the season! Or stick with the standard grade grey duct tape if they want to match the existing concrete.

Canadians love hockey AND duct tape!

#7. Bubble Gum

This could be one of those “Guinness Book of Records” moments. Everyone in Panamá could collectively and simultaneously chew gum, setting a world record, and when finished, place said gum in the cracks of the canal. Subsequently, another record could be in store with the world’s largest bubble gum bubble blown. It’s win-win-win when you think about it.

#6. Caulking (Silicon)

You’d need a lot of caulk. I’m not even sure there would be enough caulk in the world to help fill that crack – even with all the types of caulk out there! Then again, sometimes there are caulk specials where you get an extra 10% caulk, but this depends on where in the world you are from, I think. So there may just be enough caulk to fill that leaky wet opening. But I’m not a caulk expert, so I wouldn’t know how much caulk is needed to fix a drippy crevice, let alone a wider, gaping…okay, I’ll stop.


#5. Cork

There was a rumor going around that the cork tree was becoming extinct, so wine-makers were no longer using cork for wine bottles. Not true. They actually stopped because there was a better technology that reduced the amount of losses that comes with corking with cork. Some still use cork, but many use that cork-wannabe stuff. Don’t believe me? Go to a home improvement store and you’ll find cork flooring (for pretty cheap, too). And google it. Cork is bark of a tree, so the tree isn’t even cut down…Anyway, have you ever had one of those wine corks that just wouldn’t budge? Think about it. Wedge some cork into that crack!

#4. Glue

Specifically that paste you used in Kindergarten. That crud could hold anything together, and it tasted pretty good too. Right?!


#3. What leak?

There’s no leak. That’s how it was designed.

#2. Golf Balls

It would be like that gulf oil spill when Kevin Costner recommended stuffing golf balls into the hole to stop hundreds of tonnes of oil spewing with immense pressure upwards from the bottom of the ocean. Great advice Tin Cup, stick to baseball movies. If you want more laughs, I highly recommend this video about the spill.

Panama Canal Leak Fix


#1. More concrete

This is probably the likely solution, sadly, because I’d really like to see them try the first seven items – if anything for some publicity and laughs, and possibly a parody video like the gulf oil spill above.

Got any other ideas? Maybe stuff it with flour and yeast and with the hot sun it could bake bread? I dunno. There are so many possibilities. We put a man on the moon, surely we can be more creative when it comes to fixing the Panama Canal leak…thoughts? How would you fix the Panama Canal leak?

Later Dudes!




Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

6 thoughts on “8 Ways to Fix the Panama Canal Leak